Monday, 27 July 2009

So Why The Rant About Zoos Earlier?

Because it was so desperately miserable and disapppointing and because we went there against our better judgment. Some friends of ours have young kids and suggested we accompany them as it may be "fun". Yeah, well done. Great idea. Remind me not to send you a Christmas Card and to block the toilet next time I visit your house.

By the end of the day I was so bored, cold and f**ked off that I wanted to chew my own fingers off and spit them at the staff there.

I momentarily toyed with the idea of lobbing the four year old child we were with into the gorilla enclosure as the wall was fairly low, but his parents might have taken offence in some way and I suspect the big useless tw*t-apes would have stayed in the gorilla house picking their arses and lying in piles of straw rather than giving the paying public some value for money by playing some primitive form of football with a toddler as the ball.

The only enjoyment was going from one section to the next making the animal noises that corresponded with the creatures contained therein. And that was mainly me, not the four year old.

If you want Zoo entertainment looks like you have to go abroad:

I've checked online - it cost the equivalent of £2:80 to get in at Kiev zoo. Yet the shows they put on for the public are second to none by the sounds of it

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

BANG!!! What more could you want other than some popcorn???

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