Well all the adverts for shit on the telly and the subtle hints from idiots I live/work/socialise with as to what they want for Christmas makes me think it must be time for the annual horror that is "Christmas Shopping" or as I prefer to call it - buying crap for people because you feel obligated to based on a religious festival they don't even believe in.
So - I get wrapped up warm and drive into the city centre and queue for half an hour to travel the last quarter mile into the very centre. I then spend another half hour queueing to get into the multi-storey car park which is bursting with stupid people-carriers (everyone used to manage with a simple estate or even a saloon when they had kids back in the 80's) and us fools who weren't up at the crack of dawn and have got here at noon are waiting for each car to come out before another one is let in.
Eventually I park and get out and fight my way through the throngs of noisy, grubby, shellsuit-clad gobshites who are utterly incapable of noticing anything other than what it directly in front of them and therefore have to mash everyone else's shins with their bags of cheap plastic crap from Argos as they bumble off towards KFC for their bargain bucket lunch.
I finally make it to a trendy little "cafe" which serves all manner of different coffees with all manner of chocolate/toffee/milk variations.
And internet access.
After twenty minutes my coffee is finished and Amazon.co.uk, Play.com, Firebox.co.uk and somewhere else - I think it was Boots.com - have sorted all my Christmas shopping.
Like all those smug buggers in your workplace who always tell you their Christmas shopping is no problem as they do it online - I do too, but I do it properly because I'm hardcore. I go through all the hassle to get the presents even though I shop online.
A Christmas present is only any good if the person went through hell to get it for you.