So I find myself in some godawful card shop being forced by misrepresented convention to waste money on more ex-trees that have been pulped, turned into card, folded and have some hideously un-romantic pap written on them (Valentines Cards were designed for sending a secret message to someone you long for, not to make blokes pretend to be romantic by doing something as predictably cheesey and stupid as buy their other half some roses and then carry on being thoughtless and unromantic the rest of the year).
I see a card with a 'cute' little monster on the front with wobbly eyes and a verse inside (because god forbid we ever actually bother to write our own words and bother to express our love for another - much easier to let a stranger who works for Hallmark do it for us) along the lines of "Your eyes are really sexy....your body's really hot...." and then on the back it said - I kid you not - "Contains small parts. Not suitable for children under 3 years old".
Well thanks for that. Presumably you do a different range of Valentines Cards with sexually provocative verses inside but without small parts on that I can give to a three year old!?